Bittersweet


I am thankful to be Mommy. I woke up to his playful baby babble and before I even opened my eyes, I was smiling! Like, from ear to ear. Every day with our LO is the new best day of my life.
Even for a moment, I never disliked my pregnancy. I was greatful! I miscarried our first baby at 17… and I cried about it everyday for at least a year afterwords. (and sometimes still when I watch “16 and Pregnant”…) I knew then, and still now, that we were so not ready to be parents.
Baby Bittersweet, I call her. It hurt then, but I’ve learned a lot about being thankful from Baby B.
When I was first PG with Chazz, I was excited, but I didn’t really allow myself to get attatched. I was sick with worry and anxiety. When we heard his heartbeat for the first time, I felt so much relief… and love!
I think that Baby B really helped to keep things in perspective!
Spending the first 20 weeks (yes, 20!) barfing all morning? AND night? “No problem… a good sign” I told myself.
Constantly being elbowed in the ribs? “Oh good, he’s moving!” I thought.
First stretch marks appearing a week before I was due? (talk about devistating!) “Its just how it goes” I’d say. Not for a moment did I let it get to me!
And now, no matter if he is cooing in his crib sweetly, or waking the dead with his cries… I am overwhelmed with love for him! Or when it is 2am and he’s hungry (again!), I remind myself how lucky I really am to have my lil boo bear!


Nothin’s better!

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