Thoughts And Prayers

I am having a hard time keeping myself together.

Chazz had his eye appointment today. I had made it about a month ago, because we were concerned about his left eye not tracking well.

Thank God for a mother’s intuition… because something was really wrong.

Chazz has Optic Nerve Hypoplasia in his left eye. His optic nerve is underdeveloped and his vision in that eye might be severely impaired. ONH can occur alone or with hormonal and neurological abnormalities.

So far, we don’t know much… We will be going in for an MRI on Tuesday to asses the situation and go from there. They will look at his optic nerve to see how developed it is and looking at his brain itself for any abnormalities.

I’m a little nervous about the MRI. This involves anesthesia. Little Man has to be out so that he doesn’t move. He doesn’t get to eat for four hours before.

I can’t help but think the worst. Thats how I am. I feel just aweful that he has to go through all of this. Like somehow this has to be my fault. Or I could have prevented this… Or I at least should be able to take his place.

This is going to be a long week of waiting. And I’ll be holding my little man extra close.


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