It Will All Be Ok, Okay

As I cuddled him to sleep in the silent dark of our room, I had the most beautiful moment with our son tonight.

When I put Chazz to bed, I always have an overwhelming love-ness feeling for him. Like tight-chest-proud-grin. Because he is just so darn cute! The faces, the coos, the tossing and turning.

But tonight it was extra special.

Somewhere in the rise and fall of his chest and mine. Somewhere between both of our hearts beating. (The only thing you could hear in the silent dark.) He was calm. All was calm.

The wall heater switched on, startling him somewhat half-awake. Chazz rolled himself around, trying to drift back to sleep. He would both whimper and coo. He could barely keep his eyes open and looked completly exhausted. Yet couldn’t fall asleep.

A lot like how I have been feeling. My mind has been exhausted, but yet it can’t settle down.

He kept fighting it. Shifting. Trying to get comfortable. He rubbed his eyes and cried out a little. He pulled at his hair.

And then, just like that, he rolled over pulling his favorite blankie in close, and passed out just as quickly as he had awoken.

I watched his little chest rise and fall and him drift into a deep sleep. He looked in complete bliss.

It is in that moment that I realized that it will all be ok.

It will all be ok.

Just like Chazz, we’ve been startled. An awakening. And it’s been a little overwhelming, a little exhausting. But fighting it is even more so. I have got to stop fighting it, and just let it be.

Let it be just as peaceful as it ever was.

God gave us Chazz. And wouldn’t give us anything that we couldn’t handle. And as overwhelming and discouraging as it is, somewhere inside is the strength I have been praying for. ❤

Now it's my turn to "sleep like a baby!"

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dana @SearsFam
    Dec 16, 2010 @ 23:49:48

    It is day by day, moment by moment. Try to find the positive in the negative. This is how I am live, this is how I am still living. Know what I mean.

    Love ya Lady. Thinking of you.



    • Forever&After
      Dec 17, 2010 @ 00:07:10

      I do know what you mean. I’m struggling. But I’ve got my mind set on getting through the ups and downs, keeping my chin up.

      Thanks for thinking of me, dear. You’re support is so much appreciated. I’ve been keeping you and Mason in my prayers. ❤



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  3. Devan @ Accustomed Chaos
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 09:40:35

    beautiful, beautiful post. ❤


  4. Beth
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 18:08:10

    Glad to hear you are in better spirits. Just love. That’s my advice. Just love. It will get you through. Have a wonderful holiday with that beautiful boy.


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