So…

Quick update:

Chazz and I both lived through his first day of daycare.

There were no breakdowns on my half, although at one point I thought I would lose it if I didn’t go get him, so I picked him up a little early. 🙂

Chazz only cried for a couple minutes after I left. (yes, I stood outside and listened…) But Emily had Chazz back to laughing in no time.

He even napped for her for over an hour and a half. Ya, I’m a little jealous! But of course, they always do stuff like that for everyone but their parents, right?!

Emily reported that Chazz ate like a champ while he was there, napped well, and got along with the other little boy.

She did mention that he hated having his diaper changed. (why yes, yes he does!) so I gave her a tip to let him stand up during or chase him around afterwards.

Silly boy, he has never been o e to sit through an entire diaper change.

Overall, I think it went great.

Chazz seemed comfortable… Emily seemed comfortable… I left feeling somewhat comfortable…

And I would call that a success!

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Daycare Isn’t A Crime, I’m Just A Coward

Chazz Man will be heading on an adventure all his own Wednesday. He starts his first day of “daycare.”

{I prefer the term “nanny.” Because it sounds less scary. Like I’m not dropping my kid off with someone I only barely know. The anxiety is GETTING TO ME.}

In related news: Mommy is going to have a breakdown tomorrow. I try not to ::hyperventilate:: when I think about it but COME ON!!

There is most likely a tear-filled panic attack in my new future.

I didn’t exactly picture someone else taking care of my kiddo.
But we have to make this work.

We like the idea that Chazz won’t be at some drop-off center with a bunch of runny-nosed/obnoxious/distracting/sickly/bad-mannered/GERMY! kids.

::hyperventilation::

This seems like a better fit for us.

It’s just Chazz, “Emily,” and another little 3 year old boy.

Cozy. I like cozy.

And the fact that he cried, no, BAWLED when we left her home after the interview makes me feel a little better.

At least he likes her. Right?

::hyperventilation::

My list, in preperation? Is a mile long.

Extra this. Extra that. A favorite toy. A NANNY CAM.

Okay I’m a little kidding about that last one. Just know that if I had one handy… I would totally use it…
I’ll just have to re-park my car and peek in the windows…

Okay, again, mostly kidding.
Emily seemed great with Chazz. Playful, attentive, nurturing.
Second-best to yours truly.

And she is willing to help potty train when the time comes… SCORE!

All in all, this is almost like one big leap of faith for us. (Chazz just thinks it’s one big playdate lol. “Ooh! New Toys!”)

On one hand, I know he will be safe and in good hands. But on the other, he isn’t safe unless he is in MY good hands… Ya know?

Oh the internal conflict that comes with motherhood. You all should have warned me.!.

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I’ve Got A Mom Crush

As funny as it may sound, it’s true.

I have a total Mom Crush on a mom who comes into the boutique with her son. Not only does she have the custest style I’ve ever seen, but “Sonya” and “Max” are always in a bright mood.

And she is like my parenting muse.

I get butterflies when she comes in. I love seeing he with her young boy. And I know I will pick up a few parenting tips and even have a laugh or two!

Yes, I watch and take note of moms and dads I admire, my mind is always taking notes.

The way she parents her son appeals me. He seems so content and confident to play on his own, occasionally looking around to make sure his mom is close and he is still ok. At which point Sonya usually smiles and nods at him to let him know that he is.

It’s a beautiful thing.

And heartwarming to watch and learn from. All of her hard work as a loving, caring, teaching parent paying off.

The kind of parents Roman and I work to be.

Is it weird for me to be taking motherhood notes? I would never do it in a judgemental way, or to make comparisons to prove myself better. Only to pick up ideas on what I do and don’t want to be as a parent.

Am I the only one with a “parenting muse?” Or is there a mom or dad that you admire as well?

I hope I am not alone. I want to be the best mama I can be for Chazz. I constantly strive towards that. I’ve never done this before, so soaking up the knowledge and the examples of mothers around me has been an awesome way to help navigate this thing called motherhood.

After all, Chazz never came with a handbook!

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Super Mom, You Suck.

Last month, I did my first guest blog post ever over at one of my favesie blogs, Chill Mama Chill.

I thought I would share the post with you all here, because I just love it so much. Enjoy!

Chill Mama Chill was one of the first blogs I added to my Google Reader. I get to read about true motherhood. There are no sugar coatings, it’s not all puppies and rainbows. Plus, our kiddos are around the same age, I constantly find myself nodding and smiling when reading her posts. What an honor to guest blog over there!

When Brandee asked me to blog about my mommy super power, I was excited. But then I froze.
“Wait, super power, do I even have one? I’m no Super Mom”
I worried I would have to tweet her back, cancel my slot. “-) Until The Husband pointed out one simple fact.

“Well you’re alive, arn’t ya? That takes super power.”

And that was such a good point. A major part of the first year of motherhood was merely surviving. Hanging on for one hell of a ride.

Because there is no such thing as that Perfect Super Mom. The one I thought I could be, pre baby? She doesn’t exist.

And while we may try so hard, we are still nowhere near that Perfect Super Mom. But it’s ok!

We still end up the super heroes in our children’s lives. No, we can’t do it all. But we are able to (mostly) juggle the daily demands of life, the responsabilities of children, and neverending work, overdue bills, and the “don’t-leave-your-dirty-socks-there-or-I’m-gunna” days. And that takes something.

Cramming 36 hours of crazy into 24 *is* super power.

We don our mommy capes. Sometimes over pj pants splattered in squash purée and our second-day hair. Sometimes with a cute pencil skirt, sporting our cape from a work desk. (Wishing we were in those pj’s) But we wear our mommy capes, do our best, and hang on. Boom. That’s super power, my mamas.

I’m always reminding myself to concentrate on the good, or what I did get done. I guess that’s my mommy super power. I certainly can’t get it all done all the time. There just isn’t time. But if I pick one or two things everyday to accomplish, whether for my own sanity or for an actual “deadline,” I feel like I’ve at least put a dent in domestic bliss.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to be merely surviving right now. I may not be able to do it ALL, but we all have a super power or two up our sleeve.

Do you think there is a perfect super mom? What is your mommy super power?

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The Working Mom: Part 2

This past week has been a whirlwind. Of activities. Of emotions. Of everything!

I’m enjoying being a working mom (for the most part!) and all the things that come with it. Like adult interaction and conversation. Money is nice. And being surrounded by designer labels doesn’t hurt either!

It’s hard to leave him every morning, but it is getting easier. And I appreciate my “Stay At Home Mom Days” that much more. It is hard to be on my feet all day, and then come home and put on my Supermom cape. I’m worn out, tired, and maybe even a little grumpy somedays. {who, me??} But I’m adjusting and I hope I won’t be a zombie forever 🙂

The only things that have me a little down, aren’t so bad I guess. We decided to give him formula during the days I am at work. I neve thought The F-Word would creep into our lives, and Chazz’s belly, but it ended up being the easiest for all involved. I do pump and dump to keep my supply up, and boy is it hard to pour that “liquid gold” out! I’m trying not to feel guilty about not exclusively nursing him to One like I planned. But hey, nothing really goes as planned, does it?!

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, but this is all a big change, and my mind is still transitioning! So bear with me, as I try to fit it all in, and find time to blog as well.

And, as always, any advice is much appreciated! So if you have “been there, done that” help a mama out.


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The Working Mom

Ok, a quick post before bed! Today was my first day back to work as a mom. After 9 months of staying home with my Little Man, nine! {can I just say that again? Didn’t we just bring him home?} NINE MONTHS!

I was more than a little nervous to be away from my Velcro Baby. But this morning, I put on my big girl panties, packed up my pump {oh yay…}, and headed to my new job.

And let me tell ya, it went a lot better than I thought. Eight hours flew by. Pumping wasn’t as dreadful as I expected. And Roman brought Chazz by on my lunch break, so I got to see him and snuggle for a few.

And rumor has it, Chazz was a bucket full of sunshine for his Daddy today. Other than refusing a bottle at first and having to run home for more diapers, Roman said the day went smoothly. Music to a mama’s ears!

I’m so glad that they had a good day together. I didn’t want Chazz to feel suddenly abandoned, or Roman to feel overwhelmed. And neither of those things happened.

I just hope I don’t miss any cool milestones or cute faces…

As hard as it was to be away, the perma-smile on Chazz’s face when I got off made it all ok. Well, mostly.

And now it’s time for us to cuddle up in bed and enjoy some snuggles.

Because this Mama works in the morning!


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What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

After putting in a few resumes last week, I interviewed at a boutique today and I got the job!
And I start tomorrow.
{yeah, life moves fast around here doesn’t it?}

I AM FREAKING OUT.

First of all, I went out on a limb when I applied, and I wasn’t really expecting to get it.
Second, how is my velcro baby going to survive without me??

So much to plan. And do. And fret about.

I know Chazz will be in good hands. (he doesn’t have to go to a daycare, thank goodness) But I worry that’ve is going to miss me. Or wonder where I am. Or cry. Or get hurt. Or… ::inhale:: I could go on forever about worries and what-ifs.

And what am I to do about nursing?? I’ll be bringing along my hand pump, that’s for sure. I hope my supply doesn’t tank. Oh wouldn’t that just be peachy. Work my butt off just to spend it all on formula.

Would. Not. Be. Good.

But I know when we all adjust, it will be fun, and the extra moola $$ will be worth it.
I hope.

Wish me luck tomorrow? This will be my first day as a workin’ mama, and I’m more than a little nervous.

Somebody hold me.


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